I can't say I wasn't warned.

I, like millions of others watched the series finale of Lost last night.

I've been so bloody confused this entire season. I can't keep up with time travel shows, and this was beyond time travel. It was time travel on crack.

I watched the entire show last night without the slightest benefit of knowing what was going on. The show ended and I still had no clue. I've read some online reviews of what the ending meant and I still can't say I have a grasp on what the ending was supposed to be.

Of course the very name of the show should have been a clue. LOST. Yep, it pretty much describes how I feel. They tried to warn me up front before the first episode aired. LOST. Other titles that could have provided full disclosure:

Waste of Your Time.

How gullible is America?

Sure, we know where we are headed with the series.

Suckers! (Yep, you)

Trust us. You'll like where we are going with this.

Except.

It was a very predictable, calm, stress free weekend, except for that email. Nothing popped up that was unexpected, or got in the way of my plans, or went terribly wrong....except....

On Saturday I was checking my emails and there was one from my Pastor. The subject was "Taylor and the Franz family". There was nothing in the subject to suggest I should open it with caution. Or pause to speak with God first. Or to turn off the background noise and pay proper attention before reading it. Taylor is the 11 year old daughter of a friend of mine. Back in the late 90's/early 00's her parents and Brooke/Dan and I were youth leaders for 6 years or so. We were a good team and it was an easy, rich friendship.

Taylor has a brain tumor. That is what the email revealed. I can remember when that kid was born. I remember she wouldn't eat my sloppy joes (she was 2 or 3 at the time) because she told Carrie she thought the meat looked like poop. I remember vacationing at Holden Beach while she was potty training and hearing over and over, "Uh-oh. Taylor peed on another couch cushion". She's grown up since, but in my head she's still a little girl. And now that little kid is facing her own mortality. She's gone beyond anything I've ever dealt with in my life. And she's eleven.

The tumor is too deep to operate on, or even diagnose as to whether it is malignant or benign. The doctors are just watching to see if it grows, shrinks, or remains the same. I don't want Carrie to have to live with that uncertainty. I don't want Taylor to walk that path. I know I'm supposed to pray for God's will to be done, but I just want to petition Him to take this off their shoulders. To rewind and put life back the way it was.

Since it was such a quiet weekend I've had a lot of time to think and pray and reflect, and very little in the way of a distraction. I still haven't wrapped my head completely around the news.

I already know I like it.

Today was one of those days that work out exactly how you hope, without a lot of effort. Just easy, fun, rich, full. My niece Kate took gymnastics lesson a year or so ago. She loves the pretty girls with glitter in their hair doing the flips and tumbles at the Olympics. The Chinese Acrobats were at the Honeywell Center in Wabash and Jami and I both knew Kate would love them.

I found out about them almost by accident--just a couple weeks before today. When I checked out the tickets there were still three great seats dead center, and the perfect distance from the stage. Our schedule's both were free. Today the weather was perfect. Everyone was in a good mood. It was fun.

The acrobats were incredible. I couldn't even do it justice to try and explain what they did. They were between the ages of 10 and 18 and effortlessly twisted and flipped and balanced and bounced around the stage for 2 hours. Within 2 minutes of the act Kate whispered to me, "I already know I like it". Jami and I knew she'd love it--and she did.

Quality Kate times involves at least 3 points of contact physically. She sat on my lap and squirmed and wiggled and fidgeted her way through the program. I was worn out by the end, but that is what it means to love Kate.

The routine for the show was for the group to comes out and do something that is mildly amazing. And then it builds. And builds. And builds. By the end of the segment your jaw is on the floor while trying to figure out how what you are seeing is physically possible. One stunt involved a girl balancing on what looked like a skateboard, but rather than four wheels, there was just one round cylinder/tube like device in the center. So she's rocking back and forth and she's handed a long dowel rod like looking stick--about 4 feet long. On the stick are three round ball type objects being balanced. She tilts her head back and puts the stick in her mouth, balancing the dowel rod and its round objects with her teeth. She is handed a hula hoop, which is introduced into the act by one at a time slipping it under her feet--while balancing on the pseudo skateboard thing. She gets the hula hoop going and then she is handed 4 rings which she gets going--2 on each arm. I couldn't even get the hula hoop going while flat footed if my life depended on it.

At one point while watching the latest mind boggling event I whispered....oh my goodness. I must have been saying that a lot because Kate elbowed me and said, "stop saying that".

As amazing as it was I wondered if the acrobats enjoyed their lives. If they were treated humanly and trained in a safe environment. If they ever got to see their families. If they were the sole support for the their families. If our applause was enough reward for the hours of practice that went into preparing for the show.

I love any chance I get to spend with Kate. I love it when the event is something she enjoys so immensely. It was a good day.

We couldn't take pics during the event. The following link should take you to a you tube clip:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_QnEfUv7Ulg&feature=player_embedded

If it doesn't go there a search under, Golden Draon Acrobats - 6min feature promo, on you tube should take you to a video clip.

A most excellant surprise to come home to.

When I got home today I was greeted with this:




How fun, I thought! That wasn't there when I left this morning. Upon closer inspection I saw this:



My heart did it's happy dance. Right there in the driveway. (In case you are wondering what that looks like, it is pretty similar to my normal, everyday look. Perhaps a grin breaks out. Nothing too out of control!) I'm always amazed how God knows exactly what I need, at exactly the moment I need it. I shouldn't be amazed. He's so faithful, even when I am not.

Sunday is a mixed bag of emotions for me. You can say what you want about how Mother's Day is a day for everyone because we all had a mother give birth to us. About how I have a mother to celebrate. About how it isn't always about me. The truth is Mother's Day is a painful day for me. It doesn't point me towards what I do have, it is just a reminder of what I don't have. It feels ugly and selfish and self absorbed to say it, but that is where I'm at. I think each year as God grows and matures me, I make a little more peace with the idea of Mother's Day. I'm not there yet, and for now my usual routine is to call my Mom the day before and make sure she gets her Mother's Day props from me and then just lay low on Sunday and avoid the Mother's Day hype. This Sunday Mom will be here, and I'm heading to Indy, so we'll all be together on Mother's Day for the first time in as far back as I can remember. We didn't aim for getting together on Mother's Day. There were other events the weekend was planned around.

But back to my happy plant. :-) The plant was from Meagan and Danielle. They are my best friend Brooke's daughters. I first met the little squirts when Danielle was still in diapers and Meagan was about three years old. They are now grown, beautiful young ladies. (They are in the pic at the top of the blog. Meagan is the bride, I am to her right, and Danielle is on the other side of me. Of course no one is really looking at the camera so it doesn't really tell you who they are, but it gives you an idea)

I have had just about every pseudo-mom experience with Meagan and Danielle that a non-mom can. I babysat for them for an entire summer. I had to fish one of them out of the back of Brooke's closet when she threw a fit and hid from me. I took them to the zoo. Then cleaned the crayon off of Danielle that she sat on that had been melting all day in the hot car. It safely traveled from Ft. Wayne to Warsaw under her little leg smearing and soaking in all the way home. I drug them to pee-wee tennis lessons again their wishes. I've been to Ed-com. Helped rid the house and their heads of lice. Trick or treated with them. Vacationed with them. Cried with them when their pets died. (Tig-Tig) Traveled to and from Ohio with them when their uncle died. Two pets died on my watch while house sitting. I had to tell Meagan I killed her fish. I'm not sure if that is a pseudo-mom experience. The cat wasn't my fault, but the fish was. Still feel bad about that one. Sorry, Meagan.

I'm thankful that Brooke is secure enough in who she is to share as much of Meagan and Danielle with me as she did. I'm thankful that shortly after Meagan and Danielle outgrew that little loveable, huggable kid stage my sister gave me two new little people to experience all those things with again. (Hopefully not the lice part. A person only needs one good lice story in their life.) I'm thankful for the last two names on the card. Breydon/Claire. Life has come full circle and once again there will be a new little person to to watch grow up. Meagan is about 18 weeks pregnant and soon there will be a Breydon or Claire running around. Bliss. Many times I've heard Brooke introduce me to people as Meagan and Danielle's second mom. So, if Meagan is pregnant does that make me pseudo/gran-nope. Let's stop right there. No need to go down that path.

There's one more name on the card. Gracie. Gracie is Meagan's miniature dachshund. Cutest little dog ever. And she wished me happy Mother's Day. :-)

Back to the real world.....

For the past week I've been on vacation. I took a week off to catch up on some things I needed to do around the house. To relax. To do yard work. Mainly, though I wanted to get ready for fall craft shows prior to when I normally get ready for them---which is about two weeks before I need to have things ready :-)

I started the week with some pretty grandiose ideas as to what I was going to accomplish. I envisioned a few dedicated hours in the morning to working on crafts and then having the rest of the day to play. Ha. It quickly became apparent that I was going to need to put in more than a "few" dedicated hours.

In the end I'd say what I got done was a good start. Here are some pics of how my week was spent.





I really wish I had taken a before pic because this area was a mess. I planted a few flowers, and put down the black paper that is supposed to prevent weeds, and then mulched. As much fun as that sounds....it isn't :-). It is fun for about 30 minutes and then it becomes obnoxious. The bags are heavy. The paper doesn't stay down. Bugs fly into your mouth. As you can see there is a very distinct stripe down one section. I learned that red mulch is not universal. What Ace considers to be red is not the same as what Wal-Mart considers to be red.



These are little rabbit shaped ice packs for kids. Unlike real rabbits, these bad boys do not multiply by any other method than my two hands. I made about 50 of these.




These started out as clear ornaments and paint gets squirted in and then swirled around, and then turned over and over and over so the paint doesn't settle in one corner. This project was a low point for the week. I finished about 50 of them and this was all that worked. My paint was too thick to make it work and rather than wait until I got more paint I insisted I was going to salvage the paint. Bad call.






Scrabble tile pendants. The name is self explanatory. Little tiles from abandoned scrabble games with a small image glued on and then a tiny little bail to hang it off a chain. There are a billion little picky steps on these things. The pendant is sanded. The image is glued on. The glued image is trimmed (if needed). The image is then decoupaged with Mod-Podge. Then the decoupaged image has diamond glaze spread over it. Once dry, a bail is glued on the back. I made over 200 of these.




Little, fluffy hair bows. They remind me of a microscopic version of the hair bow atrocities we used to do ourselves in the 80's. I can remember when the bow couldn't be BIG enough. I still have some vintage 80's hair accessories. They make their way out every once in a while for Halloween. Sigh. Those were the good old days....the BIG 80's. I made about 50 of them. (the little girl version, not the big 80's version) (And yes, Jami there are some white ones making their way to Kate....)




These took f-o-r-e-v-e-r. I painted 50 pieces, but couldn't get all 50 in one pic, so I just grabbed a sampling.




Crocheted necklaces. These consist of 8 strands of ladder yarn cut to various lengths--around 2 yards. The center portion of each strand is crocheted and the ends are left uncrocheted. A couple carefully placed knots and voila, you've got yourself a necklace. I made about 100 of them.






When I needed a break from "work" I spent time on Kate's Barbie house that she will supposedly get for Christmas at some point. The goal now is to complete it before she is past the age of Barbie. She's 6 and more into dolls than Barbies at this point. Realistically I think this will be done by the time she is 18 or so. The house is made completely of plastic canvas and yarn. Plastic canvas is very very low on my usual list of medium to work with. When I started this project I didn't have so much as a scrap of the stuff in my house. Most of my obsession with crafts is that I am unbelievably fascinated with the idea of creating something out of nothing. Gets me every time. A ball of yarn and two needles and suddenly you have a sweater? I'm hooked. A plain piece of linen fabric, a chart and some colored thread and you end up with a picture? Sign me up. Some plastic canvas, yarn, 3 million hours and you get a Barbie house? I was a goner when I stumbled across the instruction book. I can't say I enjoy working with plastic canvas, nor do I ever see myself making anything with plastic canvas after this project is over. I'm now working on the entry way and each time something becomes recognizable I get the same stupid grin on my face. "Oh my goodness---it was a flat piece of plastic canvas and now it is a little set of stairs". "Wow. A door! And just before this it was.....plastic canvas." The thing is going to be huge. There is a second floor, and then a roof that goes over this level. My plan is to finish the first floor for Christmas this year, and then hope that Kate will be as fascinated by it as I am. And that she offers to help with the second level. We'll see.

There are other things that happened this week that you can't capture with a picture. A lot of organizing and cleaning. Sleep. Relaxing. A week without an alarm clock. My roommate (who is very quiet and very reserved) bursting in the living room Saturday night loudly announcing there were two bats flying around in my garage. (Great I thought. What the heck do you do with bats.) I asked her if it was a bird. She assured me they weren't bird because birds do not get to where they are going and then crawl into a hole. Nope, they don't. She wanted to march me out to the garage to show them to me. In this instance I didn't need to see to believe. We went to the door and cracked it open. Couldn't see a thing. She was quite content to fully open the door and step into the garage to show me where they crawled into. I was quite content to have her stay in the house and point to the area where they hid. If they got into the room I knew the only course of action would be to run screaming from the room. Slam the door shut, and then never used that room again.

All in all it was a good week. It went way too fast. As today drew to a close I was tempted to wish that I had a second week off, but I didn't. The last time I was on vacation (in Omaha) and I wished for just a few more days in Omaha my wish came true. Unfortunately it was in the form of the flu being visited on 90% of the humans in the house. Not this time. I'll just appreciate the time for what it was and look forward to doing it again next year!