How fun, I thought! That wasn't there when I left this morning. Upon closer inspection I saw this:
My heart did it's happy dance. Right there in the driveway. (In case you are wondering what that looks like, it is pretty similar to my normal, everyday look. Perhaps a grin breaks out. Nothing too out of control!) I'm always amazed how God knows exactly what I need, at exactly the moment I need it. I shouldn't be amazed. He's so faithful, even when I am not.
Sunday is a mixed bag of emotions for me. You can say what you want about how Mother's Day is a day for everyone because we all had a mother give birth to us. About how I have a mother to celebrate. About how it isn't always about me. The truth is Mother's Day is a painful day for me. It doesn't point me towards what I do have, it is just a reminder of what I don't have. It feels ugly and selfish and self absorbed to say it, but that is where I'm at. I think each year as God grows and matures me, I make a little more peace with the idea of Mother's Day. I'm not there yet, and for now my usual routine is to call my Mom the day before and make sure she gets her Mother's Day props from me and then just lay low on Sunday and avoid the Mother's Day hype. This Sunday Mom will be here, and I'm heading to Indy, so we'll all be together on Mother's Day for the first time in as far back as I can remember. We didn't aim for getting together on Mother's Day. There were other events the weekend was planned around.
But back to my happy plant. :-) The plant was from Meagan and Danielle. They are my best friend Brooke's daughters. I first met the little squirts when Danielle was still in diapers and Meagan was about three years old. They are now grown, beautiful young ladies. (They are in the pic at the top of the blog. Meagan is the bride, I am to her right, and Danielle is on the other side of me. Of course no one is really looking at the camera so it doesn't really tell you who they are, but it gives you an idea)
I have had just about every pseudo-mom experience with Meagan and Danielle that a non-mom can. I babysat for them for an entire summer. I had to fish one of them out of the back of Brooke's closet when she threw a fit and hid from me. I took them to the zoo. Then cleaned the crayon off of Danielle that she sat on that had been melting all day in the hot car. It safely traveled from Ft. Wayne to Warsaw under her little leg smearing and soaking in all the way home. I drug them to pee-wee tennis lessons again their wishes. I've been to Ed-com. Helped rid the house and their heads of lice. Trick or treated with them. Vacationed with them. Cried with them when their pets died. (Tig-Tig) Traveled to and from Ohio with them when their uncle died. Two pets died on my watch while house sitting. I had to tell Meagan I killed her fish. I'm not sure if that is a pseudo-mom experience. The cat wasn't my fault, but the fish was. Still feel bad about that one. Sorry, Meagan.
I'm thankful that Brooke is secure enough in who she is to share as much of Meagan and Danielle with me as she did. I'm thankful that shortly after Meagan and Danielle outgrew that little loveable, huggable kid stage my sister gave me two new little people to experience all those things with again. (Hopefully not the lice part. A person only needs one good lice story in their life.) I'm thankful for the last two names on the card. Breydon/Claire. Life has come full circle and once again there will be a new little person to to watch grow up. Meagan is about 18 weeks pregnant and soon there will be a Breydon or Claire running around. Bliss. Many times I've heard Brooke introduce me to people as Meagan and Danielle's second mom. So, if Meagan is pregnant does that make me pseudo/gran-nope. Let's stop right there. No need to go down that path.
There's one more name on the card. Gracie. Gracie is Meagan's miniature dachshund. Cutest little dog ever. And she wished me happy Mother's Day. :-)
I'm sorry Mothers' Day is rough on you. I don't like it either.
ReplyDeleteI think our culture makes too big of a deal out of Mother's Day, and I ache for you and Amy and others who have to suffer through it or avoid church on that day or whatever. I watched a woman cry through the "honor the mothers" part of the service this year (in Florida). She also stood as a mother, so maybe she lost a child or something, but I prayed for her and hated that nothing was said about the grief of women like her. At least at Valley Springs, they do speak to this grief and to the complex emotions that Mother's Day brings to many women. I think that's how it should be. Thanks for sharing—both of you.
ReplyDeleteThank you Bev, and thank you Amy for your responses. I'm glad to hear that VS gives a nod to both sides of the day. It seems more balanced to celebrate the good and acknowlege the hard parts, then to just stay where it is comfortable.
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