Except.

It was a very predictable, calm, stress free weekend, except for that email. Nothing popped up that was unexpected, or got in the way of my plans, or went terribly wrong....except....

On Saturday I was checking my emails and there was one from my Pastor. The subject was "Taylor and the Franz family". There was nothing in the subject to suggest I should open it with caution. Or pause to speak with God first. Or to turn off the background noise and pay proper attention before reading it. Taylor is the 11 year old daughter of a friend of mine. Back in the late 90's/early 00's her parents and Brooke/Dan and I were youth leaders for 6 years or so. We were a good team and it was an easy, rich friendship.

Taylor has a brain tumor. That is what the email revealed. I can remember when that kid was born. I remember she wouldn't eat my sloppy joes (she was 2 or 3 at the time) because she told Carrie she thought the meat looked like poop. I remember vacationing at Holden Beach while she was potty training and hearing over and over, "Uh-oh. Taylor peed on another couch cushion". She's grown up since, but in my head she's still a little girl. And now that little kid is facing her own mortality. She's gone beyond anything I've ever dealt with in my life. And she's eleven.

The tumor is too deep to operate on, or even diagnose as to whether it is malignant or benign. The doctors are just watching to see if it grows, shrinks, or remains the same. I don't want Carrie to have to live with that uncertainty. I don't want Taylor to walk that path. I know I'm supposed to pray for God's will to be done, but I just want to petition Him to take this off their shoulders. To rewind and put life back the way it was.

Since it was such a quiet weekend I've had a lot of time to think and pray and reflect, and very little in the way of a distraction. I still haven't wrapped my head completely around the news.