I just consumed a vegetable. Three of them to be precise.
To explain why this would be tantamount to hell freezing over, I must back up a bit. I've had vegetable anxiety my entire life. I cannot eat them. It was never a control thing that I tried as a little kid who wanted her way. Physically I cannot get them in my mouth and down my throat. There are many foods I don't care for that I can still manage to get down. Not vegetables. There are several Marti versus vegetable stories that end the same way. Regurgitation.
My most memorable one was my first camp experience. I TRIED to tell them it wasn't a good idea to make me eat tuna salad with onions. They wouldn't listen. I did my best to do what I was told. Got to the end of the sandwich and....you guessed it. It all came back up--right on the table. Oddly though my memories are not those of shame and embarrassment (although I felt those). I just remember thinking....I tried to tell you this wasn't a good idea. The other factor that made it memorable was that the shirt I was in was the only shirt that I had with me that had sleeves on it. Despite the fact that it was the middle of summer in the Florida heat we couldn't wear tank tops. My mom didn't get that memo because she sent me to camp with a suitcase full of sleeveless shirts. In one terrible, brief moment the rules about tank tops and eating what was served no longer applied to me. (This came in handy because believe it or not liver and onions was on the menu a few meals later. Seriously. What camp serves liver and onions to 5th graders?)
I can remember being quite young, and being at a friend's house whose mother took it upon herself to make peas AND beans part of my supper. (See above paragraph for how this story ended) After that event I lied to another little friend and told her my mom said I couldn't go to her birthday party. I was afraid the Birthday meal would include something vegetable in nature. Our mom's straightened it out and I was assured that hot dogs were what was on the menu.
The majority of people I encounter have no idea what I mean when I say "Are there vegetables in that dish, because I do not do well with vegetables". I usually get one of two responses. Yeah, but they are so big you can pick them out. Or. Yeah, but they are so small you'll never know they are in there. Believe me. Big or small, I'll find them. I cannot tell you how many times I've been at a pizza place and the pizza ordered is completely vegetable free, except the blade used to cut the pizza was used on another pizza that had peppers or onions on it. The rogue onion or pepper will jump onto the blade and then jump onto my pizza and inevitably be on the piece I choose.
I've learned there is a very specific way to ask waiters/waitresses if a dish is vege free. I've found that "does this come with any vegetables?" can be heard as, "are there vegetables on the side". Or I will ask "Are there vegetable in the enchilada?" If they say "no", it can mean there aren't any inside it, but they are all over the top of it. For the most part I now ask, "Are there any vegetable anywhere on the plate?" If they hesitate I ask again and list things that could be a vegetable to help them think it through. Overkill? Perhaps, but I've been in situations where I'll ask if something has vegetables in it. I'm told no. It comes to me full of onions and I'll ask and the response is, "Oh, I didn't realize you meant onions when you asked about vegetables." Sigh.
So....I've spent my whole life avoiding them but knowing they are pretty good for you....providing you can get them in and keep them down. A few days ago I watched a video on juicing. I'm not sure why a light bulb went off in my head. I've heard of juicing before, but I thought....maybe I could get some (I know not all) of the benefit of some vegetables by juicing them and mixing them with some fruit. I got an inexpensive juicer and some vegetables. It was strange standing in the supermarket in the vegetable area and actually putting some of them in my cart.
Tonight I tried it out.
A beet, cucumber, apple, lemon, celery, and ginger.
When juiced it looked like this:
While drinking it all I could taste was the lemon and ginger. I put too much of those in. I couldn't taste the beet, cucumber or celery while drinking it. Later I swear I could taste the beet but I'm not sure if it was real or imagined. I know a juiced cucumber is not as good for you as a whole cucumber, but it has to be better for you than nothing. I'll play around with the combination and see what my threshold is for the smallest amount of apple is that I can get away with before my mouth realizes what it is drinking is a vegetable. And I know there are are probably vegetables with more nutrition than celery. At some point I'll see if I can sneak some spinach or other leafy greens in. For now I'm just enjoying the fact that my insides are experiencing little bits of beet, celery and cucumber for the first time ever!
go Marti, go Marti!
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