Sheeple.

Let me start by saying that there are probably many times on my life I've been a sheeple. I claim no superiority in this story other than in this case I was the sheeple shepherd. Sheep are known for their willingness to follow the sheep in front of them even if sheep number one is doing something stupid--like wandering off a cliff. People who do the same are known as sheeples.

On the day after Christmas we have a few stores we usually try to hit. There is a Family Christian Bookstore that always has their Christmas goodies 50% off (on the 26th) and they always send out a 25% off coupon that applies to clearance items. In the past I've picked up some nativity sets at a pretty good price, but there are only so many nativity sets you can accumulate. This store isn't my favorite. I like looking around but it isn't a store I *need* to go to.

Jami wasn't sure what time the store opened. She thought 10:00, and our plan was to arrive around then. We were driving past the store a little before 9:00 (en route to other shopping) and decided to see when they opened. Turns out they opened at 9:00 and we were there at around 8:47. There was one lone car sitting in the parking lot and the woman in it kindly rolled down her window to let us know it opened at 9:00. We decided to wait. It was cold'ish. Drizzly or snow-raining, if I remember correctly. A few more cars pulled up and everyone stayed put in their warm, dry cars. At about 8:55 I looked at Jami, sly grin in place, and said, "Want to see a bunch of ladies freak out? I'm going to go wait at the door."

There was nothing in the store I really wanted to be first in line for, and mostly out of wanting to do something with my boredom while I waited, I decided to jump out of the car. Sure enough. All the sheeples followed suit. I could hear car doors opening and shutting left and right. I wouldn't call it a stampede but there was hurrying. I was the only one who knew she was getting out of her car when she did, but somehow several people managed to beat me to the door. There was no roof over the door, which meant there was this herd of sheeple standing in the drizzle.

So at this point I'm feeling some vague feelings of remorse for causing the pseudo stampede and then the person in charge of opening the store comes to the door. Now it is 8:58 by my cell phone. She is clearly not that happy to see us despite the fact that we are standing there wanting to throw money in their cash register. She says in a very un-Christmasy voice, "I still have 5 minutes before the store opens, and I'm not ready for you yet, but since it is rainy and cold I'll let you in." I again briefly decide whether or not I should feel bad for leading the sheeple to the door and adding to her lack of joy.

I don't have time to decide. The sheeple push me in to the store, and hey! there is a ceramic baby Jesus in a manger marked way, way down that has my name on it. And look! Santa is bowing in front of the manger, because he knows the true meaning of Christmas. The only thing standing between me and this masterpiece is an elderly woman on a portable ventilator. No problem, I can take her. Just kidding. The story is entirely true up to the point of spotting the bowing Santa.


But that little gem really does exist. In many forms. Here is one of them for only $6.95. And notice Santa is respectful enough to remove his hat before kneeling.